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6 questions I was asked by R
Jun. 14th, 2003 12:30 amFive Questions:
1. I know growing older is one of your big fears. How do you think it effects the choices you make and plans you may have for the future? Are there things you do or don't want to do, because they mean that you have become "old" or an "adult"?
R1: I was amazed to discover that, as I have moved into my 30's, I don't feel like I am getting older. Going from 22 to 28 is a huge change, as was going from 18 to 22. However, going from 28 to 33 has provided a little more experience, more growth, but it really is not monumental. I am still active, play hockey, have fun, etc. Anarchy made me feel old because the pattern there is: enter mid-30's = retire from hockey -or- get married/have kid = retire from hockey. I am now the 2nd oldest one on the team. Outlaws made me look at things more positively. There are guys with kids in college on that team. There is a guy who is 54! It made me realize that hockey is not going to end in 4 years, or even 8 years... it's going to continue for another 20+ years.
2. When I think of our relationship I think we are so very lucky to be so in love. I express that often and you less so. So I pose this question to you...do you think that we are different from all the people we know who are breaking up/divorcing? How so? What do we do right, what do we do wrong? How can we prevent this from happening? Or do you, as I do, think our relationship is just inherently more different than those we have seen, and therefore, we are more likely to make it?
R2: In *most* cases, I believe we are different. In many cases, I could see the problems a mile away and say "No, I would not be able to live with that situation." However, there are some cases where I was wrong. Where I thought a particular couple was great together, but it did not work. I like to think we are very different, but I worry that others may have said the same thing to themselves. However, living with you the past 10 months has made me believe we are good together.
3. If you could introduce me to anyone from your past, who would it be and why?
R3: This is a tough one... Probably my brother when he was younger. He is such a different person today that it is tough to fully realize what he once was. This would of course be from a safe distance. :-)
4. How did you know I was "the one"and when did you know?
R4: Not a fair question. I do not believe that any of us has "the one" out there. I believe that there are a rare, special few in the world who are truly right for you, but there is no one "perfect" person. Heck, what if that "one" got tired of waiting and accidentally married the wrong person? What if that "one" died... would you never be able to fall in love and ever remarry? What if you married someone before you met your "one?" What if your "one" didn't realize you were their "one" until it was too late? What if...
Car trip to NY, trip to P-Town. I've had so many things go wrong on so many trips with so many people...
There are lots of cool-geeky, kinky-yet-mentally-stable, fun-but-relaxed, strong-sex-drive, clean(non-smelly), people out there... ok... maybe not... (but I *believe* there are), but very few who I can relax and truly be myself and enjoy spending time with, even for long stretches in a car.
5. What one thing would you change about yourself presently and why?
R5: I'd make myself all-knowing. Seriously. Hm... I'd have to think... there are so many times I've answered that question... and I've usually done something about it. I was inactive physically in 1993-94, I was always running late for work in the mid-to-late-90's, I drank/partied too much in '89, I needed to come to grips with kinky urges and take some risks in the mid-90's, I needed to be more organized at work in the 90's, I needed to be more of a problem-solver in my summer job in the late-90's/early 00's, I needed to deal with some brother issues... I'm running out of things I feel I *need* to change. There are little things I'd *like* to change, but when I see a major one, I do something about it. I'd like a smaller belly, foresight to know when not to open my mouth, I wish I had more natural protection from the sun, but these are not realistic. I guess I want to be a more consistent official (football/softball) and more willing to "go-with-it" in hockey. Again, nothing Earth-shattering...
6. What made you decide to start live journaling given your antipathy of it in the past?
R6: It has kind of become a nice way to communicate without actually emailing people. I don't feel I *need* to read each post they make, but I can at least get a sense of what is going on in their life.
(I know that is six questions, but I assert s.o. privilege here).
R7: Never said you were the math major of the duo. ;-)
Remember you volunteered to answer these. You, of course, may ask me some too.
R8: I'll think of some. :-)
1. I know growing older is one of your big fears. How do you think it effects the choices you make and plans you may have for the future? Are there things you do or don't want to do, because they mean that you have become "old" or an "adult"?
R1: I was amazed to discover that, as I have moved into my 30's, I don't feel like I am getting older. Going from 22 to 28 is a huge change, as was going from 18 to 22. However, going from 28 to 33 has provided a little more experience, more growth, but it really is not monumental. I am still active, play hockey, have fun, etc. Anarchy made me feel old because the pattern there is: enter mid-30's = retire from hockey -or- get married/have kid = retire from hockey. I am now the 2nd oldest one on the team. Outlaws made me look at things more positively. There are guys with kids in college on that team. There is a guy who is 54! It made me realize that hockey is not going to end in 4 years, or even 8 years... it's going to continue for another 20+ years.
2. When I think of our relationship I think we are so very lucky to be so in love. I express that often and you less so. So I pose this question to you...do you think that we are different from all the people we know who are breaking up/divorcing? How so? What do we do right, what do we do wrong? How can we prevent this from happening? Or do you, as I do, think our relationship is just inherently more different than those we have seen, and therefore, we are more likely to make it?
R2: In *most* cases, I believe we are different. In many cases, I could see the problems a mile away and say "No, I would not be able to live with that situation." However, there are some cases where I was wrong. Where I thought a particular couple was great together, but it did not work. I like to think we are very different, but I worry that others may have said the same thing to themselves. However, living with you the past 10 months has made me believe we are good together.
3. If you could introduce me to anyone from your past, who would it be and why?
R3: This is a tough one... Probably my brother when he was younger. He is such a different person today that it is tough to fully realize what he once was. This would of course be from a safe distance. :-)
4. How did you know I was "the one"and when did you know?
R4: Not a fair question. I do not believe that any of us has "the one" out there. I believe that there are a rare, special few in the world who are truly right for you, but there is no one "perfect" person. Heck, what if that "one" got tired of waiting and accidentally married the wrong person? What if that "one" died... would you never be able to fall in love and ever remarry? What if you married someone before you met your "one?" What if your "one" didn't realize you were their "one" until it was too late? What if...
Car trip to NY, trip to P-Town. I've had so many things go wrong on so many trips with so many people...
There are lots of cool-geeky, kinky-yet-mentally-stable, fun-but-relaxed, strong-sex-drive, clean(non-smelly), people out there... ok... maybe not... (but I *believe* there are), but very few who I can relax and truly be myself and enjoy spending time with, even for long stretches in a car.
5. What one thing would you change about yourself presently and why?
R5: I'd make myself all-knowing. Seriously. Hm... I'd have to think... there are so many times I've answered that question... and I've usually done something about it. I was inactive physically in 1993-94, I was always running late for work in the mid-to-late-90's, I drank/partied too much in '89, I needed to come to grips with kinky urges and take some risks in the mid-90's, I needed to be more organized at work in the 90's, I needed to be more of a problem-solver in my summer job in the late-90's/early 00's, I needed to deal with some brother issues... I'm running out of things I feel I *need* to change. There are little things I'd *like* to change, but when I see a major one, I do something about it. I'd like a smaller belly, foresight to know when not to open my mouth, I wish I had more natural protection from the sun, but these are not realistic. I guess I want to be a more consistent official (football/softball) and more willing to "go-with-it" in hockey. Again, nothing Earth-shattering...
6. What made you decide to start live journaling given your antipathy of it in the past?
R6: It has kind of become a nice way to communicate without actually emailing people. I don't feel I *need* to read each post they make, but I can at least get a sense of what is going on in their life.
(I know that is six questions, but I assert s.o. privilege here).
R7: Never said you were the math major of the duo. ;-)
Remember you volunteered to answer these. You, of course, may ask me some too.
R8: I'll think of some. :-)
